Wike, Spray Me Rivers Dollars !

Sports Recorder
October 24, 2022
By Emeka OBASI

Rivers United disfigured my mood, honestly. Never seen such unserious bunch since GOD sent me to Planet Earth. It is paradise to get 40,000 dollars. These players chose Hades, instead.

Governor Nyesom Wike promised the footballers the princely sum of 40, 000 dollars each, if they qualified for the group stage of the CAF Champions League. Under this killing economy, that huge amount is the end of poverty for many families.

Rivers United needed to beat Casablanca side, Wydad Athletic Club (WAC) to romp into millions. In Port Harcourt, they got a 2-1 victory. The Moroccans responded at home, battering their opponents 6-0.

This should be Nigeria’s worst CAF Champions League result. It is strange that a team that had millions a flick away, failed to make supporters smile. I doubt if this opportunity will come again.

Before the Catastrophe in Casablanca, Enyimba held the record of Nigeria’s worst performance. They were hammered 6 -1 by Ismaili, Egypt in 2003. It was their first ever group game.

But the good thing is that Enyimba rose from that humiliation to win the trophy. And who were their final opponents ? The same Ismaili, where John Utaka earned so much respect before moving to France.

The Elephants would go ahead to set a national record in 2005. In the same CAF Champions League, they roasted Red Arrows of Zambia 6-1 in Lusaka. No Nigerian side ever won 6-1 at away in the competition.

Curiously, Enyimba who were defending the cup for the second time, were sent packing by Al Ahli of Egypt. That was the first time the Aba Ngwa Boys would be beaten home and away by the same team in an international match.

Rivers United should be reminded of the record of Dolphins of Port Harcourt in the 2005 Confederation Cup. Rivers, of course, emerged from the ashes of Dolphins and Sharks.

After losing out in the CAF Champions League, Dolphins fell to the Confederation Cup. They stopped defending champions Accra Hearts of Oak from making it to the group stage. It was 4-0 in the Garden City and 2-1 in Accra. Aggregate scores stood at 5-2.

Dolphins survived their group that had two North African clubs, Arab Contractors and Ismaili. Arab Contractors were defeated home and away, just like Al Ahly did to Enyimba in the CAF Champions League.

Dolphins played a barren draw against Ismaili at home, with Robert Akaruye featuring for the Egyptians, and bagged a 1-1 draw in the away leg. That was how the two North African sides exited the Confederation Cup in 2005. The cup was won by FAR, Morocco and losers were Dolphins.

At least, Dolphins got to the finals. Governor Peter Odili rewarded them with houses in 2001 for winning the Challenge Cup. In 2004, the players got brand new BMW cars. That spurred them to knock out two North African clubs on the way to the finals the following year.

Rivers United did not have the liver to fight in Casablanca. Two other Nigerian representatives, Plateau United and Kwara United also succumbed to North African opposition. They were not disgraced.

Rivers United made Port Harcourt fans cry buckets. With all the dollar motivation, they chose to die like isam (periwinkle) in the back waters of Ogbunabali.

I have been trying to get in touch with Wike. Some said he was drinking wine in Spain with his friends. One source confirmed that the ‘Ogbaghara’ of PDP was eating amala somewhere in Ikoyi with Eko power brokers.

I am still searching for Wike. I am not Dr. Iyorchia Ayu, so he should not fly to Honolulu yet with GSM. I understand the pilot of the PDP jet does not have the requisite flying hours to cross the Atlantic.

Please, if you see Wike, tell him I have registered 17 players that will go back to Casablanca and whack WAC. I even had to make phone calls to the dead.

In my team, you will find names like Albert Onyeanwuna, Sam Ibiam, Elkanah Onyeali, John Onyeador and Jonathan Nwaiwu, all members of the Port Harcourt Red Devils that won the Challenge Cup in the 1950s.

From Sharks I have invited Adokiye Amiesimaka, Richard Owubokiri, Finidi George, Baras Orugbani, John Apolo, Million Nicholas, Joe Nartey, Raymond Quacopone, Sidney Ugorji, Eugene Ohuabunwa, Rowland Orufe and Okwuchukwu Waobikeze.